The most difficult leadership position I’ve ever been in has actually happened twice. Both were large department directors. They were 14 years apart, but in both cases, the challenges, frustrations and angst were remarkably similar. Working for a cowardly leader, on a day-to-day basis, can, and does, cause ulcers, stress anxiety, and other health issues.
In the first scenario, I lost about 15 pounds in two years due to the stress, so I suppose that is a silver lining. The second time I wasn’t there long enough to lose any weight, but the stress was definitely the same. Many of you have worked for cowardly leaders, or do so now, and you know that sick feeling in your stomach you have every morning when you have to go to work and face the boss that makes your life hell.
Reality vs. Idealism
I try and research as much about leadership, both good and bad, as I can. It seems that 90% or more of the articles out there are about what good, solid, real leaders do, or at least should do. How they manage and the attributes and traits they possess. That is one of the reasons I write about cowardly leaders, because thousands of people are doing the research and blogging about what good leaders do.
Innovative leaders, and exuberant leaders, and enthusiastic, dynamic leaders and servant leaders. There are hundreds of articles about how to do it the right way. However, as Barbara Kellerman of Harvard University points out, the majority of employees don’t have the opportunity to work for these people. They work for, in her words, “toxic bosses,” and they come in at least seven categories: incompetent, rigid, intemperate, callous, corrupt, insular, and evil. Obviously, most, if not all, capture more than one of the above descriptors.
The stress of working for a bad boss can mimic post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I still have dreams about the second job. Not nightmares, not even bad dreams per se, but obviously it’s still stuck there in my psyche. Something in my subconscious wants to complete the job. Or, more accurately, do the job rather than being told how to do the job.
Unfortunately, articles paint a picture of the idealistic leader, but reality for me at times, and many of you as well, is something much different.
What Do You Do?
- Leave. That’s not practical for most. It may be that you will be told to leave at some point by an incompetent boss, so the question might be: Do you leave on your terms, or their terms?
- Most bosses have low emotional intelligence and many are simply incompetent to hold the positions they hold. Therefore, be the expert. Ensure that the information, reports, and facts you give in memos and reports are, in fact, objective and based on measurable data. It’s likely the boss will change what you give to him or her. Have the backup info ready and keep the working notes. If what he/she presents has been changed from what you forwarded, that’s their prerogative. But, it’s in your interest to be able to show what you presented if questioned.
- Be professional. You’re still part of the team, even the coach is a jerk. Be positive, support your employees, don’t criticize your boss in public. Be the positive, supportive example for them to lean on.
- Take care of yourself. There are several aspects of this. One is to eat well, exercise, and sleep as much as you can. That’s easier said than done when under stress. Exercise, sometimes, is difficult when under stress. Many times at the end of the day, you just want to come home and collapse. Make yourself get out and do something – walk, bike, hit some golf balls (with your bosses face envisioned on each if that helps). Second, realize that this job might be short-lived. So look after your personal career. Put out feelers for other jobs. Update your resume. Spend time preparing for the next chapter which is probably going to happen in some way or another. That’s just smart planning, AND, that gives you something to look forward to when work gets particularly difficult. In other words, planning your career is one thing YOU can control.
Bottom Line
There is nothing I can say that is going to magically improve the drudgery of working for a cowardly leader. It’s not fun, and it’s not going to get fun. They have their job because of who they know, or because they a political appointee, or because they were elected. The first of the seven categories is incompetence. Combine that with intemperate, callous, and insular, and you have the two cowardly leaders I worked for, and probably you have worked for. You can’t change that, or them. All you can change is you, and how you approach, prepare, and operate on a daily basis.
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