If you’ve worked for a cowardly leader, you know the challenges. How do you disagree respectfully? How do you point out decisions that violate long-standing policies? Are there ways to suggest alternative courses of action and scenarios that may accomplish the task? Often, any disagreement with a cowardly leader is taken as a personal challenge to his/her status, power, and authority.
Some possible workarounds
I’m not going to promise that all of these will always work, or that any of them will always work, but I would suggest at least considering them. I’ve worked for two power-tripping “my way or the highway” cowardly leaders, and they were both remarkably alike in how they reacted to any challenges to their edicts. It’s likely other insecure cowardly leaders have the same traits. Keep these in mind as you communicate.
Is the Open Door Policy legitimate
Cowardly Leaders who operate from a power perspective can say they have an open door policy. However, I’ve learned it’s a good idea to work through the network first. Ask the secretary, administrative assistant, and your peers to see if, a) that’s really the case, and b) if it is, is today, right now, a good time. Cowardly Leaders are often moody, and finding the right time to communicate, especially a controversial suggestion, is invaluable.
Determine the best method of communication
Determine if writing (emails and memos) or speaking (one-on-one sessions and staff meetings) are the best method of communication. Each has its obvious pros and cons. Writing gives you a paper trail to refer to, but also is permanent, especially if anything that is said can be (and likely will be) perceived as criticism. Verbal communication leaves less room for interpretation, and the nuances and inflections that occur help convey the message that is often missed in an email. However, it’s much easier to get into a “he-said/she-said” situation if there is no written record. Some people also communicate better in writing when emotion is taken out, and more time is available to choose words carefully. Regardless, find out which method works better, and when possible use both.
Flattery works
I know how shallow and superficial this is, but it’s nevertheless true- flattery works on cowardly leaders. They are often in place because of political patronage, not due to talent, knowledge or expertise. They often expect and respond to fawning praise. It should be not be overtly shallow, or it can backfire. “Boss, that’s the best tie I’ve ever seen,” probably isn’t going to work. “Boss, your presentation at city council last night really nailed it,” is a lot more likely to set the stage for what you really need to say next.
How to question
This one is tricky (Actually, they are all tricky when dealing with a cowardly leader). How and when you question will often be seen as challenging their authority. This is one that might work better in an email: “You said do X. I’m not sure if that is X as it relates to apples, or X as it relates to oranges. I want and our department wants to get this right.” Something like that is objective and shows you’re trying to do the right thing. Additionally, your specific request for clarification is in writing so there is no question about what is being asked. There is no guarantee this still won’t be interpreted as challenging. But, when working with a cowardly leader, it goes with the territory. You still have a job to do and you still need to do what is being directed while trying to do the right thing.
Don’t Slide Down the Slippery Slope
Unfortunately, a by-product of working for a cowardly leader is that the attitude and demeanor and atmosphere envelops everyone involved. It’s difficult to not become one yourself in that environment. Simon Sinek, the popular TED Talk and book author, recently said:
“The confident ask questions to learn what will connect. The insecure just keep talking with the hope something will stick.”
A confident leader must keep asking questions, getting clarification, and attempting to do what is right. Don’t become a “yes man” yourself.
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