Cowardly Leaders can be likable!
I’ve worked for leaders who fall into one of three general groups. Those that are smart, capable, and dynamic. Those that are average. And those that fall into the Cowardly Leader category . I’ve learned that some of the best leaders aren’t necessarily likable, and some Cowardly Leaders are. Or can be. Especially when they need to be.
Mistakes and Assumptions we make
Travis Bradbury is a LinkedIn contributor and author and someone I read quite often. He recently highlighted a recent study from UCLA where people rated over 500 descriptions of what were perceived as likable traits. The top-rated were sincerity, transparency, and the ability to be understood.
Too often we assume that likable-ness is related to attractiveness, intelligence, extroverted personality and the like. But those assumptions are invalid.
Sincere, transparent and easy-to-understand leaders are skilled in EQ. Emotional Intelligence. Furthermore, these people aren’t just likable, they outperform those who aren’t by a wide margin, according to TalentSmart research data from over one million people.
I recently worked for a Cowardly Leader who is the most brilliant “yes-man” I’ve ever experienced. He was an expert in saying what that person wanted to hear at that point in time. He certainly was an expert in only doing what his boss wanted, regardless of the wisdom of doing so. When I interviewed with him, I asked specifically if I would have authority and administrative responsibility for the department, because if not, I wasn’t interested in the position, and they would not want me in it.
“Oh, absolutely,” I was told. “Without question! We want someone who will make the hard decisions.”
B.S. I was told that because it was what I wanted to hear. No sincerity, or transparency existed. I had no autonomy or authority. But I didn’t know that until later.
Open Mindedness
Cowardly Leaders pretend to have open minds, when in fact their minds are already made up. “Don’t confuse me with the facts” describes these people in leadership positions. Successful leaders welcome, even encourage, approach-ability. New ideas from staff, particularly the front-line staff that see on a day-to-day basis what doesn’t work, are game-changers. This approach-ability almost always directly relates to a likable, genuine leader. People respect someone who wants their opinion.
Sometimes we mistakenly define close-minded, shallow, people who are in leadership positions as consistent and predictable. Look past that, and see if they aren’t in fact stuck with preconceived facts as they define them.
Low Emotional Intelligence
Unstable people, especially elected officials, who explode for little reason, and who distrust certain groups (such as insecure males who target strong females in order to overcome their insecurity) demonstrate low EQ. They can’t help it- it’s part of their being, but each time it manifests itself, more and more people question the degree of trustworthiness and stability they actually have. Can they hold it together when tough decisions need to be made? When the stress level is high? When a strong female is making a presentation they dispute?
What I’ve Learned
Weak, cowardly, leaders will revert to form eventually. They can put a facade on their personality but will show their true Emotional Intelligence in stressful situations. These people can be, and often are, likable on first meeting. They say the right things and act the right way.
Strong, courageous leaders can give a less than stellar first impression. Their EQ allows them to quietly assess a situation and the people within it. This demeanor can be seen by others as shy, “stuck-up”, introverted, or slow to respond. These leaders also aren’t as concerned with being artificial, and therefore, are more direct and less worried about appearances or being “liked.”
What I’ve seen, observed, and experienced, is that the first category revert to type. Their low EQ takes over and their true personalities and artificial demeanor becomes more and more the norm. Meanwhile, the second category leaders become more and more respected as the intelligence, wisdom, and consistent behavior are displayed in tough situations. This in turn causes many who doubted them to gain grudging, then genuine, respect for their leadership skills.
II-37
